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Marriage may be defined as follows:
1. Marriage is a
gift of God in creation.
The Bible teaches that in the
beginning God ordained marriage between a man and a
woman. In the second chapter of the Bible it states: “a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to
his wife.” So marriage is not a human invention or
custom it is instituted by God. The wedding service
states: “Marriage is a way of life made holy by God.”
2. Marriage is a
relationship God will bless.
Because marriage is ordained by
God, he will bless it and help people make a success of
it, if they ask him. So, if you want God’s blessing on
your relationship, get married. The wedding service
says: “Marriage is a gift of God in creation through
which husband and wife may know the grace [help] of
God.”
3. Marriage is a
growing relationship of love and trust
Marriage is a growing relationship.
It will deepen and mature. It requires effort on our
part. But what is married love? The wedding service
defines it as:
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Mutual commitment: a
determination to stick together and make a success
of the marriage by the grace of God.
-
Mutual companionship: a
determination to spend sufficient time together to
deepen the relationship, including through
communication.
-
Mutual cherishing: a
determination to maintain and develop a heartfelt
affection for one another.
-
Mutual comfort: a
determination to maintain and develop sensitivity to
one another’s needs and feelings through thoughtful
communication.
-
Mutual honour: a
determination to show respect to one another
privately and publicly.
-
Mutual sharing: a
determination to be generous to each other in line
with the promise “all that I have I share with you.”
-
Mutual protection: a
determination to “be there” for one another in times
of difficulty and danger.
-
Mutual faithfulness: a
determination to be loyal to one another in thought,
word and deed, particularly with respect to the
opposite sex.
4. Marriage is a
union of heart, body and mind.
Marriage includes romantic feelings
and, as the wedding service puts it, “the delight and
tenderness of sexual union.” However, a marriage can
still flourish if sexual union is no longer possible.
Marriage is a total
commitment, including a commitment of the will. The
couple are asked in the wedding service: “Will
you love …, comfort …, honour and protect …, and,
forsaking all others, be faithful to … as long as you
both shall live?” The answer is: “I will.” That
is why the word “determination” has been used above.
This total commitment is a “come
what may” commitment “in good times and in bad.” It is
“for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health …”
The main word for “love” in the New
Testament translates a Greek word meaning, not feeling
or sexual desire, but wanting the best for the other
person and acting accordingly.
Marriage calls for an act of the
will, a determination to speak and act in a way which
achieves the best for one’s spouse. Only when love is
based on this determination, with God’s help, will the
marriage be successful.
5. Marriage is a
reflection of the relationship between Christ and the
church.
The wedding service says of the
couple “they shall be united with one another in heart,
body and mind, as Christ is united with his bride, the
Church.” The New Testament says: “Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself
up for her.” This puts marriage on a very high level. It
is a challenge to husbands (and to wives) to show the
same sacrificial love as Christ showed the church. He
loved the church so much that he was prepared to die on
the cross to save people from their sins. Marriage calls
for sacrifice, for sacrificial love. It therefore needs
God’s blessing and help.
6. Marriage is a
commitment for life.
As we have seen, in the wedding
service the couple are asked: “Will you love …,
comfort …, honour and protect …, and, forsaking all
others, be faithful to … as long as you both shall
live?” The answer is: “I will.” In the marriage
vows they say: I ... take you …. to have and to hold
from this day forward; for better, for worse, for
richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish, till death us do part; according
to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this
vow.”
Marriage is a total commitment for
life. And a lifelong commitment needs God’s help.
7. Marriage is
the foundation of family life.
The wedding service states that
marriage “is given as the foundation of family life in
which children are [born and] nurtured and in which each
member of the family, in good times and in bad, may find
strength, companionship and comfort, and grow to
maturity in love.”
Statistics show that marriage is
the best context in which children can grow and mature.
The children require this heartfelt commitment and
determination to succeed in marriage on the part of
their parents. They need parents who have made that
“joyful [and exclusive] commitment to the end of their
lives.” Only then will they enjoy the security and
happiness which are essential to their welfare and which
they deserve.
8. Marriage
enriches society and strengthens community.
This heading is a quotation from
the wedding service. There is no doubt that successful
marriages and families are firm foundation for a healthy
society. They provide a secure and caring base – and, at
times, a refuge - for the individual and an excellent
training in citizenship for children and young people.
Because of this, traditionally,
society has regulated how a man and woman come together
in order to set up home and bring children into the
world. Marriage is not a purely private, casual
relationship but one sanctioned, respected and supported
by society. It is a solemn responsibility. “No one
should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently
and responsibly in the sight of almighty God.”
What about the
high divorce rate?
People get divorced on the grounds
of disloyalty, violence, or other abuse on the part of
one or both partners. Sadly, some people enter into
marriage just to have a wonderful wedding and get
divorced because they are not determined to keep their
vows during difficult times.
Conclusion
Marriage was ordained by God at the
beginning of time. He is therefore willing to bless it.
It is intended to provide companionship, cherishing,
comfort, honour, sharing, protection and faithfulness.
It is a total lifelong and growing commitment to
sacrificial love, come what may, with the help of God.
It is God’s intended foundation for the family which
enriches society and strengthens community. It is
therefore regulated and sanctioned by society. |
Do
We Believe in 3 Gods?
